The Wedding Process (Brief Overview) WEDDINGS LICENSE: Marriage License MUST be in minister's hands before a wedding ceremony is conducted. License is valid for 30-60 days. Executed License MUST be filed with county clerk's office within 3 day's.
PLANNING/ORGANIZING: Stages: Premarital Interview; Rehearsal; Wedding Ceremony; Post-marital Interview
Pre-marital interview focuses on - - where the couple are in the relationship (i.e. prior marriages, pregnant, living together);
- why they want to wed;
- meaning of marriage - a holy covenant between each other and Spirit (God/Goddess), freely chosen, unconditional, life-long, loving, and monogamous, based on act of will and
unconditional love as opposed to romantic love; - meaning of a "spiritual" (as opposed to civil) wedding: exalt God/Goddess; dedicate relationship and its good fruits to God; to unite not only with each other, but with God;
- aspects of healthy relationships -
- expectations;
- responsibilities for mutual support and care (i.e. sharing/exchange of house chores);
- relationship skills (communication skills, self-understanding, problem solving skills);
- issues: power/control, giving, flexibility, and forgiveness;
- Essentials for marital success:
- Commitment to growth
- Effective Communication and Skills
- Ability to accept marital conflict positively & resolve it creatively (put ego aside)
REHEARSAL & THE CEREMONY: Wedding rehearsal and ceremony are under sole direction of the minister. Minister, wedding consultant (if there is one), bride and groom perform most of the planning and seating arrangements for the rehearsal (and rehearsal dinner), and wedding (and reception). Parents may get involved as wedding serve to strengthen family ties. Ceremony is to be performed with decorum, joyful dignity and respect. Photographs of the actual ceremony are usually not permissible. However, the service may be videotaped. The wedding may be personalizing by - special vows (i.e. meaning of their commitment) involving the congregation in reading scriptures or poetry, singing processional and recessional hymns, joining in litanies, sharing in last supper (communion/Eucharist), reading a selection from the Song of Solomon, candle lighting (couple each light their own candle or one candle, making the Sign of Peace (hug) (couple initially hug, then pass hug on to others). Minister should assist couple in creating/writing/personalizing the service, selection of music, scriptures, wedding homily, communion, gestures, etc.
The basic rules for creating a service include: 1) Couple actively participates as involvement & choice heightens their awareness; 2) The wedding service needs a unifying theme; 3) Vows for the "heart" of the ceremony; 4) Wedding ceremony (music, readings, etc.) are shaped around the vows. Wedding Homilies/Readings can include: Gen. 1:26-31; 2:;18-25; 3:5-7 & 15-20; Song of Solomon; Isa. 54:5; Jer. 31:31; Hos. 2; Matt. 19:5-15; Mark 10:2-16; Luke 16:18; John 2:1-11, 3:20; I Cor. 6:15-20; II
Cor. 11:2-4; Eph. 5:21-6:4; Rev. 19:6-16.
As marriage is primarily a personal concern of 2 people who love each other, feel drawn to each other by love, they can express their feeling for each other with such special vows as: "With you alone do I wish to be united, wholly, and as long as we both shall live, in both good and bad times, supporting and working together to help each other realize ourselves and grow spiritually...."
Recommended wedding music follows: 1) Processioinal: "Air (Water Music)" or "Processional in G Major" by Handel; Westminister Abbey"; "Wedding March" by Bossi; "Psalm XIX" by Marcello; and Trumpet Voluntary by Purcell. 2) Recessional: Trumpet Tunes by Purcell; Chromatic Fugue by Pachelbel; "In Thee is Gladness" by Bach; Toccata by Widor, Chorale by Boellmann, Allegro by Vierne, "Psalm XIX" by Marcello.
The Alter Set-up usually includes flowers & candles.
REHEARSAL: The Minister directs the rehearsal and wedding the assistance of bridal consultant/florist. Rehearsals are usually 1/2 to 1 hour in duration and followed by rehearsal dinner. All members of the bridal party must attend, including any soloists and organist/pianist. Minister gives a brief welcome, opening
prayer, & explains the rehearsal process: 1) Welcome - we are gathered here to rehearse the wedding service of ____ & _____, our friends. If everyone listens & follows instructions, the rehearsal will be 1/2 hr. 2) Prayer - Let us bow our heads in prayer as we ask for God's guidance & blessing. Thank you for allowing us to share the happiness of ___ & ____ as they prepare to be married. Guide us so that we may contribute our best to you & them in this ceremony. May your spirit bless us & fill us with joy as we enter
this rehearsal. Amen. 3) Process - - Prelude Music,
- Seating of guests by ushers,
- Candles Lighted,
- Groom's parent's seated,
- Bride's Mother seated,
- Aisle runner laid,
- Vocal or other music,
- Wedding processional,
- Marriage ceremony,
- Recessional (Bride's Parents, Groom's Parents, and Grandparents are ushered out), and
- Congregation is dismissed by minister.
Think of the wedding as a drama with 3 acts:
- Act I - Processional ,
- Act II - Ceremony, and
- Act III - Recessional (begin rehearsal with Act III).
4) The Chancel Positions follow:
Clergy
Bride Groom
Maid of Honor BestMan
BrMaid BrMaid BrMaid BrMaid Usher Usher Usher Usher
Flwr Girl Ring Bearer
Bride's Family Groom's Family
5) Begin the Rehearsal with the Recessional (Act III). The Minister signals recessional music & wedding party recesses to the rear of the church in the following order:
bride & groom, ring bearer & flower girl, maid of honor & best man, ushers & brides maids, parents & remaining congregation.
The Processional (Act I) begins with the Minister signaling the processional music. The Minister, Groom & Best Man enter from side door. Ushers enter either from side door without the brides maids or from the rear of church ,escorting the brides maids. The Bride's Maids are followed by Maid of Honor, Ring Bearer, Flower Girl who enter from rear of church. The Bride & Father enter after a short pause to straighten the gown train & joyous music crescendo occurs. Everyone should begin walking aisle on left foot.
The Minister gestures congregation to rise (and later to be seated). The music stops when the bride reaches the chancel. The Father presents the Bride after replying "I do" to the minister's questions: "Who gives this Bride to be Wed?" Father seats himself after placing bride's right hand into the right hand of the
minister. After Bride's Father presents the Bride, the Bride, Groom, Best Man, & Maid of Honor step forward towards the alter. The Minister then places bride's right hand into the groom's right hand. The
Bride & Groom face each other and the Ceremony (Act III) begins. The Minister walks through the ceremony.
The Vows are practiced. The Minister steps aside, and the bride and groom kneel, face each other, & state their vows, beginning with the groom.
The Ring Ceremony is also practiced: The ring, made of precious metals, signifies the purity of the love that the couple will share. The Bride gives flowers to the Flower Girl. The Ring Bearer gives the ring to the Best Man who gives the ring to the Minister. Minister offers a prayer of blessing and gives it to the Groom. As the Groom places the ring on the Bride, he says the ring vow. In double ring ceremony, Maid of Honor holds the Groom's ring to the Minister who offers a prayer of blessing & gives it to the Bride. The Bride places it on the Groom's ring finger, saying the ring vow.
The Minister gives the Closing Prayer: The couple kneels. The Minister offers a closing prayer or Lord's Prayer.
The Minister gives the declaration: The Couple stands. The minister asks them to take right hands. Minister places her/his stole over their hands (tying the knot whom God has joined together) and declares them husband and wife.
The minister gives the benediction. The Couple kisses (rest of congregation may make the sign of peace). The Minister pronounces: "I know give you Mr. and Mrs. ________.
The Recession music begins. The Maid of Honor gives the bride her flowers & straightens her train. The Bride takes the husband's right arm and they recess church. | |
